Drink up baby, Stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be, But you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now
And forget all about The pressure of days
Do what I say And I'll make you okay
Drive them away
The images stuck in your head

People you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up baby, Look at the stars
I'll kiss you again Between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there
With your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time
And I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, Deep in my heart
Separate from the rest
Where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

the best graduation thank you note ever

we got this today from my godbrother:

Dear Holly and Gar,
Thank you for the graduation gift. It should help me when I start my drug and gun running operation in the near future. I like to aim high with my goals. Thanks again,
Danny

thank you silence

To live for one loaded, ephemeral hour in the middle of the night is an exquisitely beautiful thing.

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

a midsummer afternoon's entertainment

I was laying out at the pool this afternoon, happily soaking up the sun (whose UV rays that will one day give me cancer, but I don't care because they make me toasty warm), when some clouds threw me into shadow. Opening my eyes under my shades I stared straight up into the sky where the thunderheads were rolling in, one after another like celestial anvils. Storms mesmerize me. Picture a stormy ocean in your head, now whitewash it: turn the deep blues to a transparent azure, the whitecaps to a brilliant white against the blue and the shadows beneath the wave crests from dark to charcoal grey. That is what the sky looked like, pockets of thunderheads with menacing gray centers cresting into my line of sight in a purposeful legato rhythm. Orff's Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi gushed through my headphones. Two cells joined over my head, not crashing into each other, but melting like smelted metal, seamlessly. Another joined, heaved along by the wind. They abandoned the puffy shape of childhood playthings-cotton ball clouds in kindergarten dioramas-and assumed the smooth curves of rivers coming together at a delta. They slid away, still building. I turned onto my stomach, deciding to take a nap.

"I'm all about instant gratification; that's why I eat lots of chocolate."
-Becky

i woke up like this

my room is naked

yesterday i was ordered, by virtue of my lack of having anything else to do, to clean my room. normally a somewhat therapeutic, if infrequent, act, but yesterday it unnerved me. i picked up my clothes, half attempted folding some stuff, then shoved the rest under the bed, but there were still school papers thrown on every available horizontal surface. during the school year, going through my binders and papers is something i do when i have a big assignment to avoid. somehow giving order to the clutter makes my brain more able to focus. yesterday it caused it to go flying off on tangents. i sat in my doorway surrounded by piles of papers destined for various fates (the majority went to the future school-paper bonfire) and thought about packing up my room. i read my old english papers and dr. busonik's and dr. humble's comments. i kept those. i also decided that i have far too much stuff that i don't want, use or need. i put my trundle bed back under my regular one, exposing about half my floor previously unknown to me and picked up stuff of my dressers to reveal the satiny chocolate-colored wood. then i stood, confused. i felt like i should be sitting with an old friend, smoking a cigar and looking in on this from the outside, like an audience at a stage set. i knew that it was still the beginning of summer, but maybe it was just a delayed reaction to graduation and seeing beyond it.

i told myself that my first real post after graduation would not be introspective or at all sad, but that's what's been on my mind in between the sunny things. and i felt like writing about it.